Overwhelming Fear

Overview

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a daunting task. I, like many others, have encountered difficulties and obstacles in my pursuit of a better life. However, it is important to understand that life will always present challenges, regardless of the path you choose. The key is to stay determined and committed to achieving your goal.

The Mountain

The mountain between being a cook and a software developer was insurmountable. My computer skills were lacking, and my interactions were mainly limited to browsing YouTube for music. Furthermore, I had not engaged in math or physics since high school, and my academic performance in those subjects was average at best. I also had poor study habits and had not picked up a book in years before I decided to change my career path. Though the barrier to entry for software development was relatively easy the field was highly saturated. As someone without a bachelor's degree in technology, I was already trailing behind the thousands of students who specialized in this area. Nonetheless, I was determined to stand out and find a way to succeed.

Fear of Failure

For the longest time, my mindset was to go through the school education and secure a job. I was overwhelmed by the skill requirements needed to become a software developer. Starting over for an entry-level position would require years to go through the schooling process.

The fear of not being able to support my family once government support ended in a few months made me hesitant. Every passing month would become a struggle between moving forward with my goal and retreating to the familiar confines of the kitchen.

Honestly, I didn't believe in myself. The memories of past failures kept resurfacing, such as the time I attempted engineering for a semester and failed. It left me feeling like a disappointment to my parents and a failure to myself. The self-doubt from past experiences, time and money, and the overwhelming requirements were compelling reasons to return to a life in the kitchen. However, I knew I could not do this alone and needed support.

No one believes in you

I began by sharing my aspirations of becoming a software developer with my wife, and later with my parents. Although they were pleased that I was exploring new career avenues, I could sense that they harbored doubts about my ability to succeed in the field of software development, given my lack of prior experience and education.

At that time, I was still on the waiting list for the Medical Device Reprocessing Technician (MDRT) program, which was about seven to eight months away. During conversations with my family, I frequently heard comments like "Why don't you do programming on the side and focus on MDRT first?" or "Finish MDRT and then go to school for programming". Although I understood where they were coming from - in the Philippines, it's often necessary to work hard to support your family, even if it means doing work that you don't enjoy - I couldn't shake off the feeling that their comments reflected a lack of faith in my ability to achieve my goals.

Overcoming this old mindset was challenging, especially as many people around me were seeking comfort and stability. Thus, my primary objective was to secure a job as a software developer before the MDRT program commenced. I had approximately seven to eight months to attain this goal, and I needed to show myself and my family that success was achievable. Failure was not an option, and I was determined to persevere.

Finding a friend

To find support outside of my family, I began searching for like-minded individuals who were also looking to make a change. This led me to eventually reach out to a friend from high school who had expressed interest in the tech industry. After connecting with him, I discovered that he had taken programming courses at university, and I was inspired to learn that formal schooling wasn't the only avenue to gain programming knowledge. Through our conversation, I discovered other routes, such as coding boot camps and self-teaching. I became motivated and started to believe that my aspirations were attainable. With a friend to lean on, I knew that the road ahead would not be easy, but it was possible.

Strong enough reason

Overcoming the fear of failure was not easy, but I had enough reasons to help me move forward.

• My family was not fully supportive of my aspirations, and I wanted to prove them wrong. My desire for change was stronger than my old beliefs, and I was determined to break the mindset of settling for less, starting with my actions.
• My dream is to create video games that can move the hearts and souls of individuals. Doing something I love, sharing it with the world, and giving people a better perspective on life.
• With the drive and fear of the kitchen, I didn't want to go back to my old lifestyle. Never again was I going to live a life of extreme stress, low pay, negativity, and self-limiting beliefs.
• My success would be a way to help people in my situation. I needed to succeed to inspire others in the future with my stories and achievements, so they too could realize that anything is possible if they are determined and take action.

Lesson

It's easy for yourself and other people to doubt your dreams. Ask yourself, is my goal better than settling for the alternative? If the answer is yes, let that burning desire within you drive you to seek out someone who can show you it's possible. And if you can't find that person, let me be the one to show you it's possible. Hang in there, you are not alone you can do it.

Thank you for reading. If you believe my story will benefit someone who's attempting to make a change please share this post. Feel free to contact me, I would love to hear from you. Please subscribe if you'd like to stay up to date and receive emails when new content is published.